Previously on "24"...

When last we left Jack Bauer, our intrepid hero was dying after being exposed to some biological weapon. There was a gigantic conspiracy involving Jon Voight, the guy who played Coach Yoast in "Remember the Titans," and possibly Tony. Although Tony was really just out for revenge. Oh and he wasn't really dead. And his soul patch wasn't real, either. Just kidding about the soul patch. Renee Walker entered our lives and stole our hearts. Including Jack's, although they never actually did the deed because he was, you know, dying. Oh, and we have yet another new President and she has her own dysfunctional family, including a daughter that committed murder-for-hire.

Last season's major theme was whether it's okay to cut corners and be mean to terrorists in order to keep the country safe, to which the answer was a resounding "damn right." This year's theme is jumping the shark. Which is what happened when they signed Freddie Prinze Jr. Let's hope what happened to Chase (losing his arm, putting up with Kim) is only a fraction of the perils that await Mr. Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Once again, events occur in real time. Which means that terrorists always move faster that humanly possible, Jack never gets caught in traffic, and things that start at the end of the hour are always completed by the top of the next hour. Like underwater drilling.

- 4:00 - Snipers are trying to kill the guy who played Detective Aceveda in "The Shield." I guess they're working for Vic Mackey. Actually, I think Michael Chiklis would be a great villain for "24." He's got the look of a bad-ass and I believe he's shorter than Kiefer Sutherland, so it's win-win! Meanwhile, Aceveda walks into a crack house for some reason. He's looking for his friend who, conveniently, has a bullet in his brain. He calls someone and asks for a guy who is also dead from a gun shot. Man, this guy leaves more dead bodies in his wake than Jack.

- 4:02 - One of the assassins trying to kill Aceveda looks like a fatter, older Screech. I guess we know who his boss is. Mr. Belding anyone? Meanwhile, Aceveda hotwires a car and shows he's a lot like Jack after all. So, the first car-jacking has taken place two minutes into the season. Who had 4:02 in the pool?

- 4:03 - Screech calls in the stolen vehicle. He also plugs his sex tape and apologizes for his behavior on "Celebrity Fit Club."

- 4:04 - Jack is relaxing on the couch and watching TV with his granddaughter. She finds the cartoons boring, so of course, Jack turns to FOX News. She gets upset, so I guess she's a CNN person.

- 4:05 - Kim tells Jack that her daughter reminds her of him. I guess that means she tortures her mom for information. "Where is my teddy bear? TELL ME WHERE MR. TEDDY IS OR ELSE I'LL SHOOT YOUR KNEECAP!"

- 4:07 - President Taylor is talking with the guy who played the gameshow host from "Slumdog Millionaire." Maybe she's trying to win enough money to payoff the national debt. Sorry Madame President, you'll have to go on "Slumdog Trillionaire" for that kind of dough. Oh wait, he's the president of some Islamic country that has weapons. He's willing to make a deal, so I guess that means he's going to be killed.

- 4:09 - Jack decides to move out to L.A. and the family is happy. You know that means.

- 4:17 - Some blonde reporter tries to get into the UN with an invalid press pass. His brother is giving President Hassan shit about the deal. He's kind of annoying and seems skeptical about the President's motives. Man, do all the politicians on this show have annoying family members that hinder more than help them? President Hassan gets a call from the blonde reporter and he promises to take care of her. I guess we know what his weakness is.

- 4:21 - Aceveda corners Jack in his apartment. His name is Victor? Awesome. Oh wait, he's been shot. Nevermind. He tells Jack that President Hassan is going to be killed at the UN. He wants a deal and he wants Jack to vouch for him to CTU. Shouldn't be too hard to get a deal. I'm sure they have a bunch of immunity agreements on some flash drive somewhere. After all, they give those out like coupons.

- 4:23 - We get our first glimpse of Freddie Prinze Jr., and I'm not going to lie, I hope he dies. Meanwhile, some statuesque blonde woman in a dress that's way too inappropriate for work flirts with him as he comes in.

- 4:24 - Here's Chloe and you'll never guess it, but she's not in a good mood. She's having trouble with the computers and she's not happy about it.

- 4:25 - The guy who played Bubba in "Forrest Gump" is the new chief of CTU. He says he loves catching terrorists. Foreign terrorists, Islamic terrorists, domestic terrorists, freelance terrorists, Russian terrorists... Anyway, Jack gets his attention with the intel on Hassan.

- 4:26 - Jack is nice enough to tie together previous seasons by telling us that Aceveda helped him to establish cover with the Salazars.

- 4:28 - Bubba orders that CTU use some drones? What the hell is a drone? Apparently, they're going to be using them a lot this year.

- 4:35 - Warden Norton is now Secretary of State and he delivers the good news to President Taylor. She seems upset, though, and brings up Henry, her wayward husband. Warden Norton and President Taylor fill us in on the last couple of years. Her daughter is in jail and her husband filed for divorce. Wow! I'm guessing President Taylor won't be running for reelection.

- 4:39 - Warden Norton is using some kind of medication. He says "I ain't dead yet," which means he'll be dead by mid-season.

- 4:41 - Bubba tells Chloe to ship up or shape out. Meanwhile, Jack and Aceveda are in an alley and Aceveda faints. Jack has to perform emergency first-aid and thankfully, there's a mattress in the alley for him to use. I wonder if there's a bag of slightly used surgical supplies nearby.

- 4:50 - Hassan's wife is cold to their daughter and tells Hassan not to touch her. She's really nasty to him and says that they don't need to pretend anymore. I guess political marriages are just as bad in Islamic countries as they are in America. See? We do have something in common after all! Maybe we can build on this!

- 4:53 - President Taylor is not going to tell President Hassan about the plot for fear of jeopardizing their deal. Her Chief of Staff is not happy about this, but President Taylor is adamant. Have I mentioned what a terrible president she is?

- 4:55 - And another cliche of "24." The ignorant local law enforcement officials that don't listen to Jack. In this case, local cops show up and detail Jack and Aceveda as they're trying to get to the chopper. The cops won't listen to Jack, so they get what they deserve when the assassins show up and kill them.

- 4:56 - They're moving a drone into position. Whatever that means. Meanwhile, Aceveda won't tell Jack what he knows because he wants his deal.

- 4:57 - Jack reaffirms his awesomeness by taking out both assassins. He hits Screech with a fire axe and kicks the other over the railing. It's like riding a bike, isn't it Jack?

- 4:58 - Jack then pisses me off by pushing Ortiz out of the way before he can be hit with a rocket launcher. Dammit Jack! That was our chance to get Freddie Prinze Jr. off the show. Anyway, the assassin who was talking to Screech is the guy who played Percy on "The Green Mile." He was the one who fired the rocket launcher.

- 4:59 - Aceveda finally sings and he says it's someone on the inside, close to Hassan. I guess Hassan's screening procedures aren't any better than ours. Again, we can build on this! Looks like it's blonde reporter that will be doing the deed. Which, of course, means she's not really the mole, because she's actually a double agent. Unless she is pretending to be a double agent so she can draw out the real conspirators. In which case, she could be a triple agent because she wants to kill the real conspirators for what they did to her several years ago. Ugh, my head hurts. From now one, we'll just call that "Pulling a Tony" for shorthand purposes.

- 5:00 - The EMT's haven't arrived yet. Of course not. They're not terrorists. Those guys move at the speed of light. Meanwhile, Ortiz is upset at Bubba over the drones not working. Man, these drones are really letting us down, aren't they?

- 5:01 - Jack says he believes Aceveda because he was dying and had no reason to lie. Hey, lawyers would agree. After all, there's pretty much the basis behind the dying declaration exception to the hearsay rule. Anyway, Jack tries to walk away, but we all know he ain't gonna do it.

- 5:02 - Chief of Staff Weiss reads Bubba the riot act. Bubba has to get results, after all, that's why he got the job. He also got the job because he believed in beating terror suspects, torturing terror suspects, using sodium pentathol on terror suspects, waterboarding terror suspects... That's the last one, I promise.

- 5:03 - Hassan is about to get his groove on with blonde reporter. She reminds me of President Daniels' Chief of Staff from a few seasons ago.

- 5:07 - Apparently, the drone is part of some anti-missle system. And it didn't work. I guess the new CTU is whole lot like the old CTU after all.

- 5:08 - Chloe's gotten a lock on the computer that hacked into the UN. They have blonde reporter's name, which of course, means she isn't the assassin. Of course, what it does mean is that there will be no booty call for the President.

- 5:12 - Chloe thinks this is too easy and is convinced that blonde reporter is being set up. She has a point. After all, we're only in hour 2...

- 5:15 - Jack arrives at CTU in 15 minutes. Way to beat that Manhattan traffic, Jack. Anyway, Bubba asks Ortiz not to go on the record with his complaint about not using a second team on the operation. He's afraid for his job and doesn't want to deal with Division. After all, we know how anal those guys are.

- 5:17 - Kim is going to CTU to pick up her dad. Who else thinks she's going to get kidnapped on the way?

- 5:19 - Jack also seems surprised that they already have the assassin. Man, the old CTU really lowered everyone's expectations, didn't they?

- 5:22 - President Hassan and his wife are fighting. She's upset about him diddling the reporter, but really, why should she care? She treated him like total crap earlier.

- 5:24 - President Hassan and his brother talk in the hall. President Hassan admits to having gone off the record with the reporter several months ago. His brother then calls Percy the assassin. I guess baby bro's the mole. Unless he isn't. Ah, who cares anymore?

- 5:30 - Arlo, the perverted analyst at CTU who was using satellites to look at sunbathers on rooftops earlier, starts staring at Dana's boobs. She calls him on it and then gets a call from some creepy guy who calls her "Jenny." He threatens to expose her and tell everyone about her past, and she nearly has a breakdown. And that's another "24" cliche. The wayward sibling/child/significant other that keeps someone from doing his or her job. Usually this ends up inadvertently causing a massive security breach, so time will tell if this guy does the same.

- 5:32 - Bubba tells his guards to take blonde reporter to interrogation and orders the full "biometric package." That doesn't sound good.

- 5:33 - Jack shows Bubba the photo of the real culprit and Bubba, obviously, doesn't listen to him. "I hate his place," Jack says with a knowing tone in his voice.

- 5:34 - Chloe plays the guilt card on Jack. She's always done what he's asked and has never asked any questions. Now she's asking him for help. He walks away, though, and Chloe looks devastated. Come on, Chloe! Hasn't Jack earned the right to walk away? After everything that he's gone through? Of course not. Since Kim also tugs at Jack's heartstrings and tells him it's okay for him to see this through. Are they trying to get him killed?

- 5:35 - Ordinarily, I wouldn't be concerned about Jack's health, but this is the last season, after all. Anything's possible. I wouldn't be surprised if the writers finally killed him off.

- 5:36 - Oh wait, there's a "24" movie in the works? Nevermind. Go crazy, Jack! Don't worry about a thing!

- 5:42 - Blonde reporter is connected to some machine and is being interrogated. It certainly looks humane. Then again, waterboarding didn't sound so bad until I read about what it actually entailed.

- 5:44 - Send in the drones. I guess that's our word of the season.

- 5:46 - Apparently, Dana's creepy guy is named "Wade." Dana's worried she's going to lose everything. Her career. Freddie Prinze Jr. Well, I understand the career part. Anyway, Arlo tells her that someone's hacked into her computer. Man, Chloe really is struggling with that new software. Ordinarily, she wouldn't have been caught.

- 5:52 - Percy the assassin goes to someone's house and puts on his best American accent. We find out he's using the alias of "Mikey" and he's a traffic cop with the NYPD. The guy whose house he goes to is one of his coworkers. I smell a hostage situation brewing.

- 5:54 - Of course, CTU puts Jack under arrest because they still haven't learned the one cardinal rule of this show: Always listen to Jack. I thought that would have been engraved into the wall or something. Anyway, he calls Bubba out about the stuff with Cole and his lack of support on the rooftop and the malfunctioning drone or something like that. He threatens to tell the President, so Bubba relents and lets Jack go.

- 5:56 - "Mikey" wants to trade shifts and the cop has to turn him down. "Mikey" takes this really badly and pulls out his gun. Man, what would have happened if "Mikey" had asked him to work a double?

- 5:58 - "Mikey" then drops the accent and tells his coworker to call their supervisor and them they switched shifts. He refuses and "Mikey" shoots the guy's wife above the kneecap. He says he won't miss the bone next time. Man, does it suck to be a wife on this show. First Christopher Henderson's wife and now her.

Next on "24" - explosions, gunfire, beatdowns, and oh yeah, Renee is coming back! Woohoo!!

I never thought I'd have to write this. The idea that I would have defend Greg Maddux's credentials as one of the greatest pitchers of all time seemed about as likely as having to write about Larry Bird's skills as a basketball player, Barack Obama's skills as an orator, or Dr. James Andrews' skill with a scalpel. I mean, the guy won 355 games and is one of the greatest control pitchers of all time. He was stingy with runs during a time when the ball was flying out of the park so frequently that you'd think they were being carried out by carrier pigeons. He posted ERA's under 2.00 in two consecutive seasons during the heart of the Steroids Era, and from 1992-1998, he was absolutely dominant, posting single-season ERA's of 2.18, 2.36, 1.56, 1.63, 2.72, and 2.22. He wasn't the hardest thrower, but he still managed to strike out 3,371 batters in his career, good enough for tenth on the all-time list. He was the epitome of the complete pitcher, not only mastering his craft from the mound but also defending the position better than anyone else (he won 18 Gold Gloves - a record).

Additionally, stories about his brilliance and intelligence are so widespread and legendary that it's hard to tell what's real and what's myth. There was the time he intentionally allowed a home run to Jeff Bagwell knowing that, if they met up in the postseason, Bagwell would be looking for the same pitch, which Maddux would, of course, refrain from throwing. There was the time he predicted a trip to the hospital for his first-base coach after he detected a small, but subtle, shift from Jose Hernandez in the batter's box. Sure enough, Hernandez struck the first-base coach in the chest (although, thankfully, it didn't result in a trip to the hospital). There was the time he contradicted Leo Mazzone, only one of the greatest pitching coaches of all time, in front of the entire pitching staff about how to pitch to Bernie Williams. Mazzone, in an astonishing act of humility, deferred to Maddux. He was so smart that the only things he failed to do were cure cancer, fix the economy, and explain all the plot-holes in the "Back to the Future" trilogy.

Then there's the whole steroids thing, or in Maddux's case, a lack thereof. While Roger Clemens awaits a perjury indictment for his actions on Capitol Hill, Maddux can sit back comfortably, knowing that, as my friend who used to work for the Braves and has seen him naked on several occasions put it, he was definitely NOT on steroids. Whether this was because he had no muscle definition, he had no back-acne, no unexplained abscesses on his butt, or no shrinkage in his package, I don't know and frankly, I don't really want to know. The bottom line is that he pitched in the midst of the Steroid Era and thrived, even as his contemporaries were taking shortcuts and cheating.

So, imagine my surprise when I went on Youtube looking for Greg Maddux's recent number-retirement ceremony with the Braves and I found this:



Now, Jamele Hill carries about as much weight with me as Pinnochio. Anyone who argues that Randy Moss was justified to dog it the way that he did when he was in Oakland shouldn't be paid to give his or her opinion. Then there's Skip Bayless, who is best known as the guy who wrote a book insinuating that Troy Aikman was gay without any, uh, hard evidence. As such, this was hardly Tim Kurkjian vs. Peter Gammons. Still, a number of things bothered me about this exchange.

Greg Maddux Was a Terrible Postseason Pitcher

Really? Everyone always brings up his 11-14 record in the postseason as evidence that he wasn't one of the greatest pitchers of all time. Does it take him down a little bit? Sure. But should it be the dealbreaker? The one thing that keeps him from taking his rightful place alongside other contemporary immortals like Seaver, Koufax, and Gibson at the pinnacle of the profession?

Well, let's take a deeper look at this 11-14 albatross around Maddux's neck. First of all, his postseason ERA was 3.27, a shade above his career regular season ERA of 3.16. Hill and Bayless conveniently forgot to mention that. Indeed, they made it sound as if he turned into Mike Maddux once October rolled around. "He got bombed more times than we give him credit for," as Bayless remarked.

Really? Let's take a look:

1989 - Chicago Cubs v. San Francisco Giants, NLCS

In 1989, he made his postseason debut for the Cubs and had a nightmarish series against the Giants. He got rocked in Game 1 of the series, giving up 8 ER's in 4 innings, which included two gopher balls to Will Clark. In Game 4 of the series, he gave up 3 ER's in 3 1/3 innings. Not good for anyone, especially a future Hall-of-Famer like Maddux, but it was his first postseason and he was only 23. He had plenty of time to get better (and he did). Maddux later said that he thought Will Clark was reading his lips during mound conferences, which led to Maddux's habit of covering his mouth with his glove when his catcher or pitching coach went to the mound. We'll chalk up 1989 as a learning experience.

1993 - Atlanta Braves v. Philadelphia Phillies, NLCS

In 1993, he made two starts against the Phillies. The first was in Game 2 where he picked up the victory and only gave up 2 runs while striking out 8. He pitched poorly in the deciding Game 6 of the NLCS as the Phils pulled off the huge upset (that was the season when the Braves won 106 games and won their division on the last day of the season). But one thing the box score doesn't tell you is that Maddux took a Mickey Morandini liner off his knee in the first inning but continued pitching in the game, in part, because the Braves' bullpen had been busy in the series (at least two out of their three top relievers in Mark Wohlers, Steve McMichael, and Kent Mercker pitched in every single game of the series). After that liner, Maddux started having trouble pushing off the rubber and his pitches lost their usual movement. Did he pitch poorly? Sure. But did he choke that series away for the Braves? Absolutely not.

1995 - Atlanta Braves v. Colorado Rockies, NLDS
Atlanta Braves v. Cincinnati Reds, NLCS
Atlanta Braves v. Cleveland Indians, World Series

Yes, Greg Maddux was terrible in 1989 and less than stellar in 1993. In 1995, however, he was lights out and was one the biggest reasons why the Braves finally won that elusive World Series crown. He went 3-1 with a 2.84 ERA against the Rockies, Reds, and Indians. In the NLDS, he got the no-decision in Game 1, but pitched extremely well, going 7 innings and only giving up 3 ER's at Coors Field. He then won the clincher in Game 4, going seven innings and giving up 4 ER's.

Against Cincinnati, he faced off David Wells in Game 3. Mad Dog went 8 innings and only gave up 1 ER as the Braves went on to sweep a very good Reds team.

In the World Series, he started Game 1 and out-dueled one of the all-time greatest October pitchers in Orel Hershisher. The Mad Dog beat the Bull Dog and went the distance, giving up only 2 ER's on 2 hits. In fact, Maddux was so good that the press excoriated Bobby Cox for going with Steve Avery in Game 4 of the World Series. Avery, who had a poor 1995 season, but was one of the best postseason pitchers of the early 90's and who was coming off an excellent start against the Reds in Game 4 of the NLCS, came through and Maddux, ironically enough, took the loss in Game 5, giving up 4 ER's in 7 innings. Still, it was a moot point as the Braves won the title, giving Maddux his only championship.

1996 - Atlanta Braves v. Los Angeles Dodgers, NLDS
Atlanta Braves v. St. Louis Cardinals, NLCS
Atlanta Braves v. New York Yankees, World Series

Maddux was dominant again in 1996, going 3-2 with a 1.70 ERA against the Dodgers, Cardinals, and Yankees. In the NLDS, he won Game 2, giving up only 2 unearned runs on 3 hits while striking out 7.

In the NLCS, he lost Game 2 but gave up only 3 earned runs (and 5 unearned runs) in 6 2/3 innings. Then, with the Braves staring at elimination, Maddux turned in a gem of a performance in Game 6, giving up only 1 run as the Braves went on to win, 3-1.

He went 1-1 in the World Series, pitching 8 shutout innings to win Game 2 (which was the last game the Braves won in the Series) before taking the loss in the deciding Game 6 when he came up short in a 3-2 pitcher's duel with Jimmy Key. Sure, Maddux came up short in another deciding game, but he pitched well enough to win and it was hardly his fault that the Braves choked away a 2-0 lead. He didn't give up Leyritz's homer (that would be Wohlers). He didn't lose a 1-0 contest to Andy Pettitte (that would be Smoltz). He didn't walk Wade Boggs with the bases loaded in extra innings (that would be Avery).

1997 - Atlanta Braves v. Houston Astros, NLDS
Atlanta Braves v. Florida Marlins, NLCS

He was 1-2 in 1997, but that record only tells part of the story. Against the Astros, he was his usual self, going the distance in Game 1 and outdueling Daryl Kile in a 2-1 thriller. The Braves ended up sweeping an overmatched Astros squad and set up a meeting with the wild card Marlins in the NLCS.

In the NLCS, Maddux went 0-2 but posted an ERA of 1.38. How did that happen? Well, in Game 1, Maddux outpitched noted big-game pitcher Kevin Brown, giving up zero earned runs (but 5 unearned runs) to Brown's 3 ER's and notching more than twice as many strikeouts. Errors by the normally sure-handed Fred McGriff and Kenny Lofton, however, doomed Maddux as he was the hard-luck loser.

If that weren't bad enough, then game Game 5, or as Braves fans like to call it, "the freaking Eric Gregg game." Gregg decided to call anything that was within a foot of the outside corner of the plate as a strike, but only against lefthanders. Why Gregg had this bias against lefties is still a mystery. Maybe he got beaten up by a gang of southpaws when he was younger. In any event, Gregg's strike zone left Maddux at a distinct disadvantage as the Marlins only had three lefthanded batters in their lineup, as opposed to six for the Braves. Maddux did his part, striking out 9 (only one lefty, though - Devon White) and only giving up 2 ER's. Livan Hernandez, however, feasted on the Braves hitters, striking out a record 15 hitters, including lefties McGriff (three times), Chipper Jones (twice), Ryan Klesko (twice), Michael Tucker (twice), Kenny Lofton (once), and Keith Lockhart (once).

Again, you can hardly blame Maddux for coming up short. How often do you go 0-2 while posting a 1.38 ERA?

1998 - Atlanta Braves v. Chicago Cubs, NLDS
Atlanta Braves v. San Diego Padres, NLCS

In 1998, Maddux was 1-1 with a 2.77 ERA against the Cubs and Padres. In the NLDS, he gave Cubs fans a reminder of his dominance at Wrigley as he outclassed Cubs phenom Kerry Wood in the deciding Game 3 of the series.

In an epic NLCS against the Padres, Maddux made one start, losing a pitcher's duel in Game 3 to eventual NLCS MVP Sterling Hitchcock. However, he is much more well-known for making his very first postseason relief appearance in Game 5. The Braves had lost the first three games of the series before winning Game 4. In Game 5, they were staring down a 4-2 deficit after an uncharacteristically shaky outing from John Smoltz. The Padres brought in their ace, Kevin Brown, who had been unhittable during the postseason. The Braves tagged Brown for 5 runs to come back but makeshift closer Kerry Ligtenberg (Wohlers was suffering from his temporary bout with Steve Blass Syndrome and John Rocker was still a little-known but slightly kooky middle reliever) gave up two runs to put the Padres within 1 run. Maddux came in and shut the door, even retiring his nemesis Tony Gwynn (a career .429 hitter against the four-time Cy Young Award winner) to record his one and only career save.

Again, Maddux pitched well but didn't get the results that he deserved. Could he have pitched better? Sure. But does that make him a "bad postseason pitcher?" No.

1999 - Atlanta Braves v. Houston Astros, NLDS
Atlanta Braves v. New York Mets, NLCS
Atlanta Braves v. New York Yankees, World Series

Maddux went 1-2 but had an ERA of 2.25 (are you sensing a pattern here?). In the NLDS, he took the loss in Game 1, giving up 2 ER's in 7 innings. The Braves won the next three, including a memorable extra-inning contest in Game 3 in which Maddux faced one batter (he walked Craig Biggio).

In the NLCS, Maddux won Game 1, giving up only 1 ER in 7 innings. Maddux got a no-decision in Game 5 (the Robin Ventura Grand Single Game), but pitched well, giving up 2 ER's in 7 innings.

In the World Series, Maddux gave up 2 ER's in 7 innings but took the loss as El Duque and the Yankees shut down the Braves en route to a four-game sweep. Maddux finished his World Series career with a 2-3 record but with a 2.09 ERA. That's not exactly "getting rocked" is it?

2000 - Atlanta Braves v. St. Louis Cardinals, NLDS

No spin here as Maddux was terrible during his one and only postseason start in 2000, giving up 5 ER's in 4 innings in a Game 1 that's more well known for Rick Ankiel's Meltdown. He finished with an 0-1 record with an 11.25 ERA. Still, in a series where they got outscored 24-10, there was plenty of blame to go around, including Tom Glavine (7 ER's in 2 1/3 innings in Game 2), Kevin Millwood (4 ER's in 4 2/3 innings in Game 3), Rafael Furcal (.091 AVG), Andres Galarraga (.200 and 0 HR's), and Javy Lopez (.091 AVG).

2001 - Atlanta Braves v. Houston Astros, NLDS
Atlanta Braves v. Arizona Diamondbacks, NLCS

Maddux went 0-2 with a 4.50 ERA. He was decent against the Astros in the NLDS, taking a no-decision after going six innings and only giving up 2 ER's.

In the NLCS, however, Maddux was up and down. He lost a 2-0 pitcher's duel to Randy Johnson in Game 1. However, in Game 4, Maddux, going on three-day's rest, got bombed, giving up 4 ER's in 3 innings.

All in all, it was a postseason to forget for Maddux, but he made two quality starts and only had that one poor outing in Game 4 of the NLCS.

2002 - Atlanta Braves v. San Francisco Giants, NLDS

The Braves never made it past the NLDS again during the Maddux Era. In 2002, they were favored against the Giants, but came up short against the eventual NL-champs. Maddux pitched well in Game 3, giving up 2 ER's in 6 innings and giving his team a 2-1 lead in the series.

2003 - Atlanta Braves v. Chicago Cubs, NLDS

Maddux pitched well against his old team, but took the loss in Game 3, losing a 3-1 pitcher's duel against Mark Prior (are you sensing another theme here?). Maddux made another quality start, giving up 2 ER's in 6 innings, but came up short against Prior, who threw a complete-game 2-hit masterpiece.

Maddux finished his Braves career with an 11-13 record and a 2.81 ERA. In 27 starts as a Brave, he turned in a "quality start" (defined as at least 6.0 IP and no more than 3 ER's given up) 21 times. He gave up 79 runs as a Brave, but only 57 of them were earned. That tells us more than one out of every four runs scored against Maddux were because of his teammates letting him down and not because of his own mistakes. Does that turn him into one of the greatest postseason pitchers that ever lived? No. But does that mean he was a terrible postseason pitcher? Absolutely not. If anything, it shows that he was unlucky.

2006 - L.A. Dodgers v. New York Mets, NLDS
2008 - L.A. Dodgers v. Chicago Cubs, NLDS
2008 - L.A. Dodgers v. Philadelphia Phillies, NLCS

Maddux was no longer an elite pitcher when he went to the Dodgers, so I grouped all of them together. Maddux pitched in Game 3 (avoiding a showdown with former teammate, Tom Glavine, who pitched in Game 2), taking a no-decision after pitching poorly, giving up 4 ER's in 4 innings.

Maddux was a reliever in 2008 and really took to the role, making three appearances against the Cubs and Phillies and notching four innings of solid middle relief. He gave up two unearned runs in Game 5 against the Phillies (he must have been bad in a previous life), but ended up with a 0.00 ERA.

So what does this all mean?

Maddux was a good postseason pitcher who got unlucky a few times and had the misfortune of being on the wrong end of some legendary pitchers duels. Could you argue that, as one of the greatest pitchers of all time, he should have been better? You can always make that argument. However, some of the best pitchers of all time had less-than-stellar stats in the postseason. Tom Seaver was 3-3. Roger Clemens was 12-8 but always had a reputation as a poor big-game pitcher and turned in some real stinkers during his career (1999 ALCS against Boston, the 2000 ALDS against Oakland, the 2005 World Series, every outing against Dave Stewart). Steve Carlton went 6-6. Nolan Ryan went 2-2. The postseason is a smaller sample that's more volatile and susceptible to hot and cold streaks from players. As a result, the good players don't always put up the best stats while no-names like Sterling Hitchcock end up as NLCS MVP.

Maddux's reputation even suffers in comparison to some of his contemporaries, even when Maddux's stats are far superior. Take "big game pitchers" like Andy Pettitte, Kevin Brown, and Randy Johnson. Want to know what their stats are?

- Pettitte: 14-9 with a 3.96 ERA. Why Pettitte continues to rank among the best big-game pitchers of his time is baffling to me. Sure, he's had some great moments. There was the 1-0 masterpiece in Game 5 of the 1996 World Series against John Smoltz (a series in which Pettitte got rocked in Game 1, giving up 7 ER's in 2 1/3 innings) and excellent starts against Boston in 1999, the Mets in 2000, the Padres in 1998, and the Rangers in general. However, there were times when he was terrible (1997 ALDS, 1998 ALCS, 1999 World Series, 2001 World Series, 2002 ALDS), and others when he was merely mediocre (1995 ALDS, 2003 ALCS, 2005 NLCS). If anything, Pettitte's reputation suggests that, as long as the New York media likes you, then you can be anything you want to be.

- Brown: 5-5 with a 4.19 ERA. This surprised me, since Brown was a truly nasty customer, at least in the NL. He outdueled Randy Johnson (see below) in a memorable encounter in the 1998 NLDS. He handcuffed the Braves in the NLCS, only giving up an unlikely homerun to Michael Tucker during a relief appearance in Game 5 (the one that Maddux saved). However, he was poor in his 4 World Series starts, going 0-3 with an ERA of 6.04. Plus, as any Yankee fan will tell you, he was abysmal in the 2004 ALCS, giving up 5 ER's in 1 1/3 innings in Game 7 as the Red Sox overcame a 3-0 deficit to advance to the World Series.

- Johnson: 7-9 with a 3.50 ERA. Johnson was brilliant in 2001 when he and Schilling led the D-Backs to the World Series title. However, until that year, Johnson was known to be a postseason underachiever. Five of his 7 career postseason wins came in 2001, and his two other wins came in 1995 when his Mariners squad played the Yankees in that memorable Wild Card series. Speaking of the Yankees, you won't find too many Yankee fans that speak reverentially of Johnson. He killed the Bombers in 2005 and 2006, going 0-1 with a 6.92 ERA and notching 8 K's. As such, he became one of the few pitchers who was a Yankee Killer in every sense of the word.

The evidence would seem to indicate that Greg Maddux was actually a good postseason pitcher. Was he as good as Smoltz, Schilling, or Pedro? No. But was he better than people give him credit for? Absolutely. As such, it's not fair to downgrade his standing as one of the all-time greats simply because he lacked gaudy stats in the postseason.

Greg Maddux wasn't a "dominating" pitcher

The other knock on Maddux was that he wasn't a "dominating" pitcher like Clemens, Pedro, or Johnson. Of course, in sportswriter's jargon, "dominating" means "hard-throwing," which is why strikeout pitchers like Ryan, Clemens, and Johnson are revered over control pitchers like Maddux, Glavine, and Mike Mussina. Of course, if you define "dominating" as allowing the fewest baserunners, then the only members of the 300-win club with a better WHIP than Maddux are: Christy Mathewson, Walter Johnson, Eddie Plank, Tom Seaver, Tim Keefe, Cy Young, Grover Cleveland Alexander, and Don Sutton.

Maddux's "fastball" topped out in the low-90's, and it looked so enticing that you almost had to swing at it. People who denigrate Maddux tend to focus on his lack of velocity as evidence that he wasn't as good as someone like Clemens, who could blow it past you and then stare you down with the intensity of gladiator. It's as if Maddux represents the nerdy kid who figured out a way to fool a bunch of muscle-bound jocks by getting them to swing at bad pitches. Most people can respect someone like that, but they won't revere him. When Clemens got a big strikeout, it was a triumph of his will and his sheer desire to dominate. When Maddux got a big strikeout (and as we established, he's gotten a lot of them), it was a triumph of the mind. Plus, as we saw with the way John Smoltz and Pedro broke down, there is something to be said about Maddux's approach to pitching.

Maddux may not have blown it past you, but he was the best at putting his fastball where he wanted it to go. Ask any pitching coach what's more important, and they'll tell you that location is more important than velocity. Just look at Kyle Farnsworth. He can throw 98 mph in his sleep, but his fastball has no movement on it. As such, good hitters always tee off on him. Maddux, however, can make his fastball dance around and leave a batter so confused that they lose confidence in themselves. Sure, you could argue that his reliance on getting outs on balls put into play can cause problems if his defense is poor (just look at those unearned runs in the postseason). However, it doesn't change the fact that was one of the toughest pitchers to score runs against. If that's not dominating, then I don't know what is.

So here's to you, Greg Maddux. You were the best of your era and one of the greatest of all time. Enjoy your trip to Cooperstown in a few years.

Previously on "24"...

We went back in time as Jack secured the bioweapon and detonated it inside an airtight container. Kim was targeted by terrorists and used as leverage against Jack, a member of the first family threatened to bring down the President after getting involved in a scandal, and Chloe was really nasty to her coworkers.

- 6:00 - Olivia meets with the Justice Department via teleconference to give testimony regarding Hodges' death. I'd make a comment about how quickly they set all this up, but I think it's obvious at this point. Olivia decides not to have an attorney present, which can't be good for her.

-6:03 - President Taylor recaps the previous few episodes in case we weren't watching. Have you noticed how a vast majority of episodes begin with some kind of "conference call," "briefing," or "phone call between interested parties" recapping the events of previous episodes. What, the "Previously on 24" voiceovers aren't enough? Anyway, she wants to bring down the shadow conspiracy that Hodges was part of. Unfortunately, she has no idea who they are or how to catch them. Maybe she should call AOL and shut down their chatroom.

- 6:05 - Cara is in Jack's ear the whole time, telling him when to act and what to do. Yeah, because that worked out so well for Ira Gaines.

- 6:06 - Kim notices Long-Haired Assassin is bleeding. Of course, she brings this to his attention, rather than keep quiet so that she can escape at the first possible moment. She never learns, does she?

- 6:08 - Jack makes his move and pulls a gun on Renee. I bet that wasn't what she was hoping he would pull out. Jack tells Renee what's going on, which saves time. At least they aren't going to do the usual "Let's treat Jack as a criminal and waste several hours chasing him" song-and-dance.

- 6:09 - Tony takes Jack so that they can draw the virus out of his body and harvest a new set of cannisters. Wow, that's actually pretty clever. I guess they didn't keep any samples in reserve or anything.

- 6:15 - Aaron talks to Warden Norton about his suspicions. He wants Warden Norton to access the digital recording system and Warden Norton seems reluctant to do so. He finally agrees after some prodding from Aaron. Let's face it, if Aaron asks you to do something, you should probably do it.

- 6:19 - A shaken Olivia finishes her testimony and then makes her way back to her office. She immediately gets suspicious when she sees Warden Norton in her office. He is able to get the recording while making it seem as if he was only looking for a file. Olivia then yells at Aaron and then notices the recorder. She freaks out and orders Warden Norton detained. What's she going to do? Waterboard him?

- 6:22 - Renee patches through to the gate at the airport to speak with Kim. Luckily, the ticket agent doesn't announce over the P.A. system: "Will Kim Bauer report to the ticketing agent? The FBI wants to talk to you about terrorists that are out to try and capture you. Don't worry, though, no cougars have escaped from the Washington Zoo or anything."

- 6:26 - Long Haired Agent gets suspicious and he takes a gun out his bag. How did he get through security with that? This leads to a shootout and the female terrorist is killed. Long Haired Agent gets away and Kim decides to pursue him because, well, she's an idiot.

- 6:34 - Olivia walks into the holding cell and threatens to have Warden Norton strip-searched. He declines, which is good since I don't want to see him naked. The Secret Service agent recovers the digital card and Olivia lets him go. Wouldn't that be something if that wasn't the actual digital recording device card but merely a flash card for his cell phone or something? Sure enough he shows Aaron the actual card and Warden Norton is officially my hero.

- 6:37 - Jack, who hasn't been on camera in a while, is taken by two guys in surgical masks. Not sure why they're being so paranoid. It's not like he has swine flu or anything. They give him a spinal tap, which probably hurts like hell.

- 6:39 - Tony wants a seat at the table which makes me think that he could actually be working against them after all. Or maybe he wants some new online chat buddies. I guess he's never heard of Twitter.

- 6:45 - Olivia is on the phone with her buddy and I'm surprised that she didn't order Warden Norton killed, too. Meanwhile, Renee is at the airport already and is looking for Kim, who has decided to pursue Long Haired Assassin even though she has no weapon and no combat skills to speak of. Unless she picked up some while filming "House of Wax" or while dating various hockey players.

- 6:48 - Kim flags down a police officer and I half-expected him to be one of Tony's men. He isn't, though, and he manages to shoot Long Haired Assassin several times, causing him to crash his car. His car goes up in flames and Kim rushes over to get his laptop. Kim's sleeve catches fire and she hasn't heard of "Stop Drop and Roll" since she flails her arm a few times before taking off her jacket. Hey, if Kim wants to wear less clothing, then fine with me. She manages to steal the laptop, though, and surprises Renee with her computer knowledge. Apparently, they can find out where the camera was sending signals to or something.

- 6:55 - Warden Norton goes into his car and listens to the device. Sure enough, he has enough evidence to send Olivia to prison for the rest of her life. Surprisingly, he starts his car and it doesn't blow up.

- 6:56 - Jack's spinal fluid isn't enough and they'll have to harvest his organs. Maybe that's how they'll bring him back next season. They'll use his organs to build a newer, better, bionic version of Jack! He'll be like the Six Million Dollar Man! We can rebuild him... Oh wait, his organs have the pathogen, too. Nevermind.

- 6:58 - Cara lobbies Coach Yoast on behalf of Tony. Coach Yoast decides to supervise Bauer's transport and will meet with Tony himself. I think we know where this is going.

- 6:59 - Jack is conscious, of course, and he frees himself by killing each of the scientists. Nice to see that a life-threatening illness, various anesthetics, and a painful medical procedure aren't enough to slow him down.

- 7:01 - Jack crawls under a slightly ajar garage door and breaks into a taxi. That's what, four breakings and enterings now, Jack? Tony starts shooting at him underneath the door and Jack presses button to close the garage door completely. Jack sees a gas leak and tries to ignite a flair before Tony, who has suddenly commandeered a crane to open the door, can get inside. How he managed to find one in less than a minute is beyond me. That might have been the biggest stretch of the season (and there have been plenty, so far). Jack can't get his flair ignited in time and Tony subdues him easily.

- 7:03 - Warden Norton confronts Olivia and she offers to resign if Warden Norton will sweep it under the carpet. I'm surprised she didn't offer to sleep with him. She's done it before.

- 7:05 - Jack is chained up and he asks Tony to let him die in peace. Sure enough Tony tells Jack that he has no intention of drawing the pathogen out of his body and that it was all a plan to get Coach Yoast into the open. Apparently Coach Yoast was the one behind the events of the nerve gas conspiracy and Michelle's death. Wait, so it wasn't Grame and the Evil Scotch Drinking Gang? Tony reveals that he's going to kill Coach Yoast by strapping a bomb on Jack.

- 7:13 - Coach Yoast arrives in his stretch limo and he's got more security than the President. I thought Coach Yoast was a low-key person who valued his privacy. How's this supposed to be inconspicuous again?

- 7:16 - The FBI manage to interrupt the proceedings and a shootout ensues before Tony can detonate his J-Bomb. Renee takes out several gunmen and reaches Jack. She tries to concentrate on detonating the bomb but Jack seems intent on distracting her by telling her about Tony's plans. Shut up and let her disarm the bomb, Jack!

- 7:22 - Cara rushes to embrace Tony and he shoots her. It turns out that he was only using her to get to Coach Yoast. Well, that and the nookie. Tony then bumrushes Coach Yoast and, of course, he denies playing a role in Michelle's death. We learn for the first time that Michelle was pregnant at the time, which actually makes me feel bad for Tony. Of course, Tony won't shut up and pull the trigger, so that allows Jack and Renee to stop him before he can do it. Tony gets in Jack's face as he's being taken away and calls Jack out for running away instead of doing something about men like Coach Yoast. Well, he has a point.

- 7:30 - Renee stares daggers at Coach Yoast. Renee tries to get him to cooperate and he seems nonplussed. Renee gets upset and I think she wants to call Agent Burke.

- 7:31 - Jack wants a moment alone with Renee and could this be the moment that we're waiting for? Renee is torn between making Coach Yoast talk and wanting to go through the law. She wants Jack to tell her what to do, and Jack sees that Renee is at a crossroads in her life. She can either uphold her oath to follow the law or she can do what she has to in order to save lives. However, Jack tells her that while he doesn't regret his actions, he knows that the things that he's done are wrong and he warns Renee that she's in danger of going down a slippery slope that only results in darkness and loneliness. Renee looks sad, not just because Jack is dying but because he's finally opening up to her. He then comforts her and holds her hand. All together now: Awww...

- 7:36 - Olivia tells her parents that she had Hodges killed. Of course, she tries to turn it around on her mother by blaming her for giving Hodges his deal. President Taylor is angry, but the First Gentleman sticks up for her. President Taylor gets sanctimonious and says that she can't cover up a murder. She strikes me as someone that would probably turn herself over to the police over a couple of overdue library books. Henry blames the President for their son's death and he implores her to destroy the recording.

- 7:40 - Janis and Chloe have an awkward conversation. I bet Janeane Garofalo wants to fire her agent right now.

- 7:44 - Jack is in the hospital and he doesn't want morphine. Because we know all about his bad habits in the past. He has a visitor, and it's the Imam from a few episodes earlier. Apparently, Jack called him and he wants absolution before he dies. The Imam tries to comfort Jack and I bet he's a terrorist. Man, I've been watching this show too long.

- 7:51 - President Taylor comes back into the residence and she hugs Olivia warmly. Looks like she's off the hook. Oh wait, President Taylor pulls the Michael Corleone move and turns on her daughter. She won't go back on her oath of office, and she turns Olivia over to Aaron's custody. I don't think she'll be getting any Mother's Day gifts this year.

- 7:53 - Warden Norton swoops in and he tells the President that he understands what she did. I think these two ought to get together. Of course, Warden Norton weasels way back to his old job.

- 7:56 - Coach Yoast is in custody and Renee debates over whether or not go Jack on him. Renee pulls a gun on Janis and she really has been hanging out with Jack too long. She gazes at her badge and drops it on the counter. Renee walks into the room and closes the door. Coach Yoast looks unimpressed. I'm beginning to think that Will Patton only has one facial expression.

- 7:58 - Kim shows up to the hospital and finds it hard to believe that her father has Muslim friends. Can't blame her for that. Who else thought the Imam was going to kidnap Kim and take her away so that Jack would die? Anyway, Kim wants to help and I guess that's how Jack is going to survive into next season.

- 8:00 - That's it? You've got to be kidding me!

Well, that's the end of the season, and I have to say it had its moments. The new location and new characters added freshness to the show that was sorely needed after Season 6. Renee, Moss, and President Taylor were excellent additions to the cast, although I think the writers really wasted Janis. Jack shined, as usual, and he continued to battle his inner demons while trying to save the country. His battle with Tony made for excellent television, even if the Tony Saga took more nonsensical twists and turns than anything the writers have ever done. We're supposed to believe that Tony risked the lives of hundreds of thousands of innocent Americans just so he could get revenge on the guy who had Michelle killed? Seems like overkill, doesn't it?

The main conflict of the season, however, wasn't between Jack and Tony, but was really between Jack and Moss with Renee as their pawn. Obviously, the sexual tension was there, but the real contest was for her mind. Renee saw merits to both of their ideologies, and she seemed truly conflicted over which way to go. Their struggle doubled as an extended debate over whether "extra-judicial" tactics are necessary in order to properly combat terrorism. Moss, obviously, believed that you had to go through the law, otherwise we'd sink to the level of the terrorists. Moss, of course, ended up dead while Jack looked to be on the verge of a cure even as he realized the error of his ways. What does that mean as far as the debate over the use of torture in interrogating terror suspects? I guess torture wins.

Anyway, it was a good season and I'm looking forward to Day 8! Let's hope Kiefer Sutherland doesn't wind up in jail and derail the season.

Previously on "24"...

Kim said goodbye to her dad, even though she could save his life with her stem cells. What an ungrateful daughter! I wish Johnny Drama had killed her back in Season 2. Olivia tried to have Hodges killed but chickens out. Sure enough, Hodges is killed anyway, which goes to show you that the government isn't always inefficient. Tony threatened a poor Muslim guy and set him up to take the fall for a terrorist attack. Jack gets in the Imam's face, but doesn't headbutt him like he did to that guy in New York City over the weekend.

- 5:00 - Coach Yoast is on the phone with Cara, and they helpfully set up the plot for the rest of the season. Apparently, they've modified the dispersal capability on the cannister, and they're putting the blame on Jibraan by using his brother as leverage. I was hoping that Coach Yoast would pull a Dark Helmet and look into the camera and say "Got that?" but no dice.

- 5:02 - Tony continues to show off his evilness and tells Jibraan to take the red line into Washington Center. He doesn't tap Jibraan's forehead condescendingly like he did in the last episode, which is too bad. I really liked that move.

- 5:04 - Cara puts on another wig as she gets ready to drop off the cannister. Who does she think she is? Sydney Bristow from "Alias?" If so, then she's not showing nearly enough skin.

- 5:05 - Jack wants to torture Tony's goon a little bit. Maybe Jack felt like the goon was hitting on Brooke Shields or something. Renee seems to be coming around, though, as she tells Jack "Do what you need to do." I knew she'd see things his way! He has a number to call Tony, but that's it. Jack warns him not to say anything else, or else it'll be the last thing he does. Like tell Tony that he's in a "flank-two" position or something.

- 5:07 - Chloe and Janis have a tit-for-tat. Janis doesn't know how to trace Tony's location based on the phone number, and Chloe makes Janis feel like she's a complete idiot. Or at least as bad as she was when she was on "Saturday Night Live."

- 5:12 - Jibraan grows a set and removes his earpiece. He tries to tell the Metro cops, but they don't seem to believe him. One of the cops pull him over and we find out that he is in on the conspiracy. "Put the earpiece back in," he tells a shocked and demoralized Jibraan. Turns out, Tony expected it and planted his people in the station, which was a pretty slick move, actually.

- 5:18 - Olivia is in the park and is waiting for her friend. Aaron calls her and reads her the riot act for slipping away without informing him. Aaron also tells her that Justice is looking into the car bombing. Man, they really work fast, don't they? Martin tells her that he gave the go-ahead. The way he's talking and spelling out the details of their arrangement makes me think that he's recording her. I kept waiting for him to stick out his lapel and say "Could you speak a little more clearly? And please speak directly into my lapel."

- 5:21 - Kim is in the airport and her flight has been delayed. Someone's watching her, suspiciously, and she get really nervous. She could be paranoid, but I don't blame her for being scared. After all, she does have plenty of experience at getting kidnapped, doesn't she? At least it wasn't a cougar.

- 5:23 - Cara drops off the cannister, sets the timer to 15 minutes, but rather than give it to Jibraan, she puts it underneath one of the seats outside of his line of sight. Maybe they don't think Jibraan can do the job?

- 5:25 - Chloe manages to debug Tony's location, and as luck would have it, they're right underneath Jack's nose. He crashes his car into Tony's van and drags him out of the back. He then locks on a sleeper hold that would make Ted Dibiase proud and contempuously tells his backup team to "Get this piece of crap up." Nice.

- 5:30 - There's a PDA-type device, which, of course, has the details of the entire plan. Of course, it's damaged, which means that Jack has to call Chloe to fix it. Chloe can't reconstruct it, even though she was able to fix Marwan's gadget, but Janis can. Janis' look of satisfaction when she tells Chloe that she knows how to fix it is priceless. These two are going to throw down soon. Or engage in torrid love-making. Either way, it should be interesting.

- 5:32 - Jack tells the cop guarding Tony to walk away and then beats Tony up. He wants to know why Tony betrayed him, and nearly loses it as he threatens to shoot. Tony tells him to shoot, knowing full well that Jack won't do it. I half expected Tony to give out another old CTU code to try and convince Jack that he's still undercover, but it doesn't happen. Thank God. I can only suspend my disbelief for so long. I can believe that African terrorists can drill through solid rock underwater in less than two minutes. I can believe that it takes less time to launch a missile from an underground bunker than it would to bomb Starkwood into oblivion when said bombers are less than 30 seconds away. I can even believe that someone as hot as Renee would hook up with a gigantic weenie like Moss. But Tony being a bad guy, then an undercover agent, then a bad guy again, only to be a government operative all along? I can't buy that.

- 5:35 - Jack intercepts the signal and talks to Jibraan. Jack tells him to look for it in the train, and he finds something. He opens it and he sees the cannister. Jack tells him to take it outside, which doesn't make much sense, does it? I mean, that's where all the people are, right?

- 5:40 - Looks like there was a method to Jack's madness. Jack gets the cannister from Jibrann and rushes it into one of the ambulances. He puts it into the isolation area in the ambulance, and it detonates just in the nick of time. That seemed easy. Maybe it wasn't the actual cannister?

- 5:43 - Renee and Jack have a moment. She tells him that she can finally rest and he grimaces in pain. She looks sad and then gives him a hug. All together now. "Awww..."

- 5:45 - Kim continues to feel like somebody's watching her. She turns to a nice-looking couple and asks if the shady looking guy is still watching her. The guy, who played "Cruz The Evil Mexican Businessman" from "The Shield" takes a phone call, and it turns out that Jack is the one telling him to watch after her. Meanwhile, back at the crime scene, Jack wants a full "interrogation" package for Tony. I wonder if that guy from CTU is still around. What was his name? Burke or something? I bet he's working for Starkwood as an "Interrogation Expert" or something.

- 5:46 - Cara tells Coach Yoast the bad news and she assures him that they have another play. She won't let them kill Tony, though, so I guess she really does love him. They pan to Kim in the airport and I bet her agents are the people that Kim's talking to at the airport. Sure enough, the guy kills Jack's FBI agent in the airport and it looks like Kim is about to be in trouble again. Maybe she really is better off if Jack is dead.

- 5:50 - Aaron confronts Olivia and he wants to know what she was doing. Olivia turns on the sad puppy-dog eyes and goes through her "woe-is-me" routine. Aaron, being the kind-hearted lug that he is, softens and immediately backs off.

- 5:54 - Maybe not, as Aaron calls Warden Norton and asks him about his voice-activated recording system. Ethan agrees to meet Aaron in the White House, and I'm sure revenge is going to be a dish best served cold.

- 5:56 - Janis wants a word of encouragement from Chloe, and Chloe tells her, rather snottily, that she's still not impressed. Don't worry, they still have a chance to kiss and make up.

- 5:58 - Of course, Cara decides to use Kim as leverage against Jack so that he can free Tony. Jack's going to have to betray his new allies in the government in order to save his family. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Haven't we seen this before? Oh yeah, it's seasons one through three.

Next week: Jack turns on his friends. Kim gets kidnapped. Chloe says mean things to people. President's family is involved in a scandal. Did I just describe the Season 7 finale? Or did I just describe Seasons 1 through 6?

Previously on "24"...

Well, just like Tony Almeida, I'm back from the netherworld! You see, what happened was that Christopher Henderson took away my computer and severed my internet connection right as I was on the verge of killing him. But then, in his infinite wisdom, Christopher took time out of his busy schedule of committing treason and killing innocent civilians (as well as shaking off the torture that I had inflicted on him) and had some of his men take me to the nearest Apple store so that I could get some new equipment. So, I'm back. See? It all adds up.

Anyway, looks like I haven't missed much. Tony pulled off the biggest and most shocking heel turn since Andre the Giant ripped Hulk Hogan's crucifix off his neck on an episode of "Piper's Pit." Kim came back and reconciled with her father, though she didn't put up much of a fight when he insisted on dying even though she could have saved him with her stem cells. Larry bit the dust (although he did NOT receive the silent clock - hmm...) and Renee pretty much confirmed what we all suspected: the two of them had done the horizontal mambo at some point. Olivia Taylor (who looks like she could pass for Reese Witherspoon's stunt double - you know, if Reese Witherspoon did action films) was really upset about her mother's deal with Jonas Hodges and she decided to take matters into her own hands. And there's some group of conspirators who only communicate via chatroom ("#EvilCabalOfMercenaries" on IRC), although we know one of them was the guy who played Coach Yoast in "Remember the Titans." Evidently, he was VERY upset about his demotion in favor of Denzel Washington's character. He convinces the others to follow Tony's and his new girlfriend's (who doesn't hold a candle to Michelle, btw) plan to use their lone remaining cannister to attack immediately.

- 4:00 - Tony and his friends are inside Jibraan Al-Zarian's apartment. Cara is working on planting evidence on Jibraan's computer while Tony threatens him and tells him to cooperate. He gingerly removes the piece of duct tape from Jibraan's mouth, which is good because his mustache and beard could have made that really painful. See? Tony would understand. He's got the evil beard thing going for him. Tony then gives Jibraan some lines to memorize for his anti-America propaganda video.

- 4:04 - Janis continues to give Jack attitude and accuses him of being a racist. Well, considering that Jonas told Jack that they were going to use Muslim extremists, then it kind of makes sense, right? I mean, if they were looking at right-wing militia groups, then they'd just be wasting everyone's time, don't you think? Sure enough, Jack lays the verbal smackdown on Janis and puts her in her place. Considering Janeane Garofalo's politics, I wonder if they wrote her character like that on purpose.

- 4:07 - Chloe realizes Jack is dying and she becomes genuinely emotional. Jack tells her to stay strong and tries his hardest not to break down in front of her. Chloe agrees to go back to work and Jack looks sad after she leaves. This was actually a touching and a very well acted scene. Kudos to both actors. By the way, how much do you want to bet that it's Chloe that calls up Kim and shames her for not insisting on helping her dad?

- 4:09 - Jibraan is shooting his anti-America video (not bad, he memorized his lines in less than 10 minutes), but the cops show up. Obviously, Tony tells Jibraan to get rid of the cops, or else. Jibraan looks clearly distraught, but the cops take him at his word. They don't ask to come in, nor do they do much else except to tell him to keep it down. Good to see the cops in D.C. are lazy.

- 4:18 - Chloe finds out about Jibraan and Jack decides to track down his Imam. Renee then asks Jack if he is capable of being in the field, but Jack says he needs to see this through. Renee gives him a sad look before giving her assent.

- 4:22 - Aaron ushers in some unsavory-looking fellow who is supposed to help Olivia kill Hodges. The guy who plays him was a doctor on "ER" and a snitch on "NYPD Blue." Nice resume. Anyway, Olivia wants Hodges dead, she wants his family dead, and she wants his house burned to the ground. Okay, maybe just the first thing.

- 4:24 - Hodges meets with the U.S. Marshall who will be taking him into Witness Protection. His new name is "Robert Tippett," and Hodges is less than thrilled about it. It could be worse. It could be "Oliver Clothesov" or "Mike Rotch." I was hoping they'd go with "Richard Croft," "Bud Kilmer," or "Luke Martin" in a nod to some of Jon Voight's greatest roles. Anyway, Hodges thinks the agent is giving him attitude and Hodges gives him a lecture about everything that he's lost. Like when he threw his best friend over a guardrail and was more worried about cleaning the blood off his shirt. That cracked me up.

- 4:30 - Jack and Renee arrive at the mosque and the first thing Jack does is pull out his gun. This is not going to end well for the Imam...

- 4:33 - The Imam gives Renee attitude and Jack then gets in his face. Janis calls and tells Renee that a police officer has responded to the APB. Jack then drags the Imam with them because he doesn't want him to tip Jibraan off. I give the Imam a 30% chance of living. I guess religious figures can be redshirts, too.

- 4:36 - Jibraan has to convince his brother that he's really a terrorist. His brother buys it, hook, line, and sinker, and actually spits in Jibraan's face. I guess he didn't know Jibraan as well as he thought he did.

- 4:40 - Olivia gets the account information from the hitman and she's prepared to transfer $250K into his offshore account. $250K? That's pretty cheap, don't you think? Especially for a high-value target in federal custody like Hodges. Where did she find the deal? Priceline.com? "You can name your price on everything from airline tickets to hotels to hitmen!" Olivia decides not to go through with it, and doesn't transfer the money. I'm sure that's not going to backfire on her.

- 4:43 - Chloe discovers that the money and the evidence on Jibraan's computer were backdated. Man, Cara is not a good planter-of-evidence is she? Jack realizes that Jibraan was being set up and he apologizes to the Imam. The Imam and Jack have a heart-to-heart and the Imam tries to get Jack to convert. Yeah, that's likely. He'll come back next season as Mustafa Asad.

- 4:48 - Hodges stares at photos of his family and his daughter in the picture looks nothing like Angelina Jolie. He doesn't respond when the Marshall calls him by his new name. Luckily, Hodges responds before the Marshall has to take a page from "The Simpsons," by saying "When I say 'Hello Mr. Tippett' and press down on your foot, smile and nod, okay?" Of course, Hodges' car then blows up and it looks like Olivia couldn't stop the hit in time. Then again, we don't know who actually had him killed, just yet. Plus, there's no silent clock for Hodges, so he might not even be dead...

- 4:53 - Olivia freaks out when she finds out about Hodges. She calls her contact and he tells her not to talk on the phone. Yeah Olivia, you know calls out of the White House are all recorded. Anyway, he wants to meet up and she agrees. She then composes herself and walks calmly past Aaron, who looks like he knows something is up. She better not get Aaron killed, that's all I got to say.

- 4:56 - Jack's logic once again rears its head. He tells Renee that Tony and his men are clearly using the brother as leverage because that's what he would do. The Imam then finds about Jack's condition and he starts to sympathize. Like That 70's Senator and Larry Moss, he's now Jack's buddy, apparently. Well, we know what happened to those two.

- 4:58 - Jack and the team break in and try to subdue the hostile. In the confusion, the brother breaks off a piece of glass from the mirror and tries to kill the hostile. Great move, dumbass. Now they won't be able to get the guy to talk if he bleeds out. Maybe the brother was in on it all along? Man, I've been watching too much of this show.

- 5:00 - Tony and Jibraan enter a van, and it looks like they're targeting the Metro. All you early commuters are in for a rude awakening. See? It pays to be late to work.

Next week: Jack and Tony are reunited and it feels so good! Olivia uses Ebay to auction off a hit on that sleazy reporter who blackmailed her into sex a few episodes ago. Kim comes back and is on her way to the hospital to donate her stem cells when she gets attacked by a cougar. And I'm not talking about Jack's sister-in-law!

In these days of gridlock, partisanship, inflammatory rhetoric, and public posturing, there isn't much that's capable of shaking up Washington. Radical agendas get watered down. Parties make closed-door deals that infuriate their respective bases. Scandals come and go. Indeed, it seems as if the only constant is that the status quo will reign.

That is, until someone switches parties.

Arlen Specter has become the latest in what is turning into a fairly long line of moderate Republicans to leave their party. Specter has always been an independent-minded and pragmatic politician who often infuriated his own party more than the opposition. Anyone who listens to Rush or Hannity can probably recite a laundry list of grievances against the senior Senator from Pennsylvania. He voted against Bork. He's pro choice. He's in favor of stem cell research. He doesn't unilaterally support tax cuts. He doesn't want to build a wall along the country's borders. He wouldn't vote to convict President Clinton. I'm sure that I'm probably missing a few.

However, until today, he was a loyal Republican who stayed with his party through the good times and the bad. Now, with his party on the verge of dumping him due to his vote for the stimulus package (among other transgressions) he's jumped ship and has taken his old party one step closer to irrelevance. In retrospect, it shouldn't be surprising that this happened, only that it took so long.

After all, Jim Jeffords jumped under very similar circumstances back in 2001. He felt like his party had veered too far to the right and no longer had room under its "Big Tent" for moderates like him. Jeffords' defection was supposed to act as a wake-up call to the GOP, forcing them to tone down their far-right rhetoric in order to attract moderates and independent-minded voters.

Fast forward eight years, and it seems like nothing's changed, except for the fact that the Republicans have gotten swamped in two consecutive elections. In 2001, you could understand why they wanted to flex their muscle. They had taken back the White House for the first time in eight years, and they had control of both Houses of Congress. Now? The Republicans seem deluded and in serious denial. They believe they lost in 2006 and 2008 because they weren't conservative enough. They believe that the economy can be fixed by entrusting the very same corporate swindlers and incompetents that got us into the mess in the first place. They believe that their brand of religious conservatism is far more mainstream and appealing than anything espoused by other political groups. They firmly believe in the fear-mongering policies of Cheney and Rove, whether it be questioning people's patriotism or accusing Obama and others of being Communists. Even worse, they seem like they're on a Stalinist purge, forcing everyone to toe the far-right line or risk punishment. Olympia Snowe has already questioned the direction of her party, and you can bet that Democrats will be recruiting her to turn in her GOP credentials. Assuming Joe Biden isn't already whispering in her ear.

Specter's impetus to move may have been one of self-preservation. Indeed, he spent a lot of time, maybe too much time, at his press conference talking about his reelection campaign. It's understandable that he would want to maximize his chances at retaining his seat. However, he made it seem as if it was all about pragmatism and less about ideology. It's one thing to take a stand and uphold your principles. Those are people that voters can admire and respect, even if they have selfish motives behind those principles. It's quite another to be an opportunist who will do anything to win. And, lest we forget, Specter was a Democrat when he started his political career.

As such, he could definitely have a rocky road in 2010, even though most polls have him winning comfortably against Pat Toomey, the presumptive Republican nominee. Specter's has a high approval rating with Democrats and independents, but they've never trusted him. Remember, he was the bulldog that derailed Anita Hill. He was also the Chairman of the Judiciary Committee that helped steer the nominations of John Roberts and Samuel Alito through the Senate.

And, of course, there's that pesky Employee Free Choice Act that Specter talked about in his press conference. He's already announced that he's against the bill, which would make it easier for workers to form unions. However, he did vote for cloture when it first came up in 2007. Of course, the cloture motion fell well short of the required 60 votes, so Specter could easily have been grandstanding for the pro-labor voters in Pennsylvania. How he can oppose a bill that's so near and dear to the AFL-CIO's heart and win as a Democrat in Pennsylvania is an interesting dilemma for him. I doubt he jumped without thinking through how he was going to deal with this bill. Maybe he'll support a compromise bill that will allow him to save face with his new, Democratic base. Maybe he'll stick to his principles and oppose any form of the bill, hoping that Democrats will embrace him for the simple fact that he stuck it to the GOP.

The one thing that we can take from this is that he wasn't willing to shore up his conservative credentials for the sole purpose of getting past Toomey in the primaries. He could have played politics with the stimulus and voted against it. After all, the bill passed cloture with 61 votes, one more than required. He could have voted against the motion, knowing that it wouldn't change the outcome. However, he felt that the stimulus bill was necessary and he voted his conscience. Too bad more Senators weren't willing to do that.

Now, the GOP's last hope to stave off a Democratic supermajority rests in the hands of one of their most moderate remaining Senators. Norm Coleman will be under enormous pressure to exhaust every single legal remedy in order to delay Al Franken's ascension as long as possible. Coleman, who's pressing on in spite of numerous opinion polls that show a large percentage of Minnesotans calling on him to concede, will do his best to protect a party that's moving away from moderates like him. Ironic, isn't it?

Previously on "24"...

That 70's Senator bit the dust. Warden Norton resigned. Tony and Jack took on 10 mercenaries from Starkwood, and Jack escaped with the WMD. Tony wasn't so lucky, though, and it turns out, neither was Jack, as he was exposed to the stuff.

- 11:00 - It's like beating a dead horse at this point, but CDC are already at the scene, wearing Haz Mat suits, no less. They've already cordoned off the area and are collecting samples. Jack gets naked and we see his scars. "This is not a reaction, I've had these scars," Jack says nonchalantly. Most of them were from the Chinese, but the one on his arm was from when he got drunk and crashed into a Christmas tree.

- 11:02 - Moss coordinates with Janis and seems like he's set to invade Starkwood. What? Has he actually grown a pair? Nope. He's going to wait for proof and authorization from the President.

- 11:03 - Jon Voight is giddy like a schoolgirl at the sight of his new toy. Overweight Ron Livingston seems ambivalent, though. I smell a face turn on the horizon.

- 11:04 - Tony gets beaten up but refuses to talk. Jon Voight decides to get involved and he channels his inner Bud Kilmer. He offers Tony his life in exchange for information about what the FBI knows, but like Johnny Moxon, Tony doesn't want his life.

- 11:07 - Overweight Ron Livingston wants to destroy the evidence while there's still time, but Jon Voight isn't trying to hear it. He hasn't been this determined to unleash his offensive weapons since the West Canaan Coyotes went to the Finals of the Texas State High School Football Championships. Wow, two "Varsity Blues" references already? What's wrong with me?

- 11:10 - Olivia and President Taylor are drawing up a list of replacement Chiefs of Staff, and President Taylor offers it to her on a provisional basis. How long until she turns on her mother? I give her two hours.

- 11:12 - Moss is now Jack's best friend, apparently. He clears Jack of any wrongdoing and tells the President that Starkwood is to blame. Meanwhile, Olivia looks VERY worried about this entire development. Hmmm...

- 11:17 - Moss utters the words that everyone on the show utters sooner or later: "Jack was right." Moss actually seems broken up about Jack's condition as he tells Renee. Of course, he's also a douche as he chides her for not trusting him. Meanwhile, Renee looks completely devastated by the news and starts to cry. Awww...

- 11:20 - Aaron is still in the White House and Olivia calls out to him. She wants him to be her bodyguard, and Aaron is reluctant, at first. She talks him into it, though, and it looks like Aaron is back on the team. Hey, if that means Aaron is on the show for the rest of the season, then I'm all for it.

- 11:23 - I must have misheard this part, but I think the pathogen is called the Yakov Virus. As in Smirnoff? I guess symptoms include dementia, dizziness, and irrational love for your adopted country. In Sangala, we

- 11:25 - More fun with Tony, as some Starkwood soldier who kind of looks like John Lynch tries to kill Tony. However Overweight Ron Livingston grows a conscience and kills him before he can shoot Tony. ORL says he wants immunity in exchange for telling the FBI where the weapons are. Is there anyone on this show who doesn't have immunity at this point?

- 11:26 - We have the results of Jack's bloodwork. Not sure what the suspense is. He's signed on for another season.

- 11:30 - Renee thinks Jack is okay, and she looks relieved. But we find out that Jack has been infected, only the virus isn't contagious. He's Patient Zero now, and will probably live out his life as a guinea pig. Wow. Didn't see that coming.

- 11:32 - Renee is sad and gets even more so when she sees Jack's sexy scars. Chicks dig scars, after all. They're getting some mileage out of that makeup job, aren't they?

- 11:34 - Tony and ORL are on the phone with the FBI, and, for some reason, Tony stands in front of the open window-blinds. Why didn't they draw the blinds first? You got me.

- 11:40 - President Taylor gives her go-ahead and it's time to raid Starkwood. She actually made her decision pretty quickly this time, which gives me hope for her as a President. Of course, now that we actually like her, they'll probably kill her off or something.

- 11:44 - Moss mobilizes the troops and Jack wants in on the fun. Jack says that they owe him this, and Moss seems sympathetic. However Moss refuses and actually makes a well-reasoned and perfectly legitimate argument about how Jack needs to stay back since they don't know when he'll start showing symptoms. Jack knows Moss is right and, finally, the two of them actually agree on something. You know, other than the fact that Renee is a hottie.

- 11:52 - Moss leads the strike team to the Starkwood compound and they land without any resistance. They charge into the warehouse while Jon Voight seems, surprisingly, calm about the prospect of his entire operation going up in smoke. That can only mean one thing...

- 11:55 - That's right, the warehouse is empty! Looks like ORL played them all. Now the only question is whether he did this on his own so that he could get immunity or if this was all orchestrated by Jon Voight.

- 11:58 - The FBI gets surrounded by Starkwood's private soldiers, and John Lynch is alive and well. Well, there's our answer. Looks like ORL is much more loyal and Jon Voight is a whole lot smarter than we thought. Anyway, the FBI aren't backing down, and neither are the Starkwood Soldiers. We have a Mexican standoff on our hands. Someone call Quentin Tarantino.

Next week: Jack has a fever, and the only thing that can cure it is more - uh - Renee.

Previously on "24"...

Warden Norton and Olivia get into a pissing contest, and something tells me that Warden Norton is going to lose this contest. Jack reaches out and touches Renee, and she helps him in his quest to take down Starkwood. Sure enough, Moss acts like a jealous and jilted lover and has her arrested. Jon Voight has his weapons, but his cover is blown during a late-night hostage/bonding situation between Jack and Senator Mayer. Quinn kills Senator Mayer only to bite the dust himself at the hands of Jack.

- 10:00 - Moss is at the late Senator's townhouse and is doing his best Horatio Caine impersonation by investigating the crime scene. Luckily, he doesn't pause after every word, crack a one-liner, and then put on sunglasses right before the opening credits. He calls Warden Norton and Norton can feel the noose tightening around his neck. Norton does what he does best and tries to pass the buck to Moss, but Moss actually stands up for himself. Warden Norton seems resigned to the fact that this was his fault, and he slumps in his chair, looking distraught and depressed. Time to eat his own gun?

- 10:04 - Tony and Jack are driving with one hand and holding cellphones with the other. They haven't heard of Bluetooth devices?

- 10:05 - President Taylor is on the phone with her husband, who is now out of surgery. So terrorists can break into the White House from under the sea in less than a few minutes but the First Gentleman needs four hours of surgery?

- 10:07 - Warden Norton tenders his resignation and falls on his own sword. President Taylor tries to talk him out of it, but ultimately accepts his resignation. What's with all the disloyal/incompetent Chiefs of Staff? Mike, Wayne, Cummings, Mike again, Lennox. Let's hope Rahm Emmanuel doesn't fall into that category.

- 10:10 - Some dock security officer named Carl that we've never seen before is on the phone with his pregnant wife. We know what that means. This guy will be dead soon. Why don't they just call him Ensign Ricky and get it over with? Jack and Tony get to him and demand the shipyard's manifest.

- 10:15 - Jon Voight is coordinating with his team at the shipyard and, sure enough, he is wearing a Bluetooth. Maybe that's why Jack and Tony don't have them. Bluetooth devices are for evil people! Like Gream. Or is the Grame? Why couldn't they have just gone with the conventional spelling of "Graham?"

- 10:20 - Jon Voight presides over some kind of board meeting at Starkwood. He goes into overacting mode once again and goes off on the government for not knowing how to utilize their services and daring to investigate them. Of course, the board is not totally behind him. Doug, some suit on the board, wants to make a deal with the administration, but Jon Voight isn't hearing it. They step outside and Doug is worried about Senator Mayer's investigation. Jon Voight flashes his evil smile and calmly mentions that the Senator is dead. Doug wants to know whether Jon Voight was behind, and Jon replies with a creepy "We are not in the business of political assassinations. But maybe we should think about it." I'm still not sure where I stand on Jon Voight's character. They seem like they're trying hard to make him this cavalier, arrogant, aloof villain, but then he shifts into delusional patriot mode and seems to care too much about his cause. I'm not buying it.

- 10:22 - Jack tries to reason with Carl the Redshirt and tells him what's going on. Sure enough, he tells Jack everything. Jack can't call to the FBI since the lines are jammed, so they'll need to go it alone. Jack convinces Carl to let the bad guys in and string them along. Carl forces Jack to promise to protect him while Tony flashes Jack a knowing look that's absolutely priceless. Odds on Carl's survival? Not looking good...

- 10:30 - Jon Voight's men take Carl with them and Jack is upset that he's sacrificed yet another glorified extra. Tony tries to cheer him up by saying: "He was dead the moment he stepped out of that door." Which means, of course, that Carl's not going to die.

- 10:33 - Warden Norton gives Olivia some words of warning about trying to win at all costs, and Olivia clearly resents his patronizing attitude. Of course, Olivia calls that reporter and reveals that she was behind the leak all along. Anyone surprised? Didn't think so.

- 10:39 - First shot of Renee and it comes during the split-screen. She's still in holding, in case you were wondering. Meanwhile, back at the townhouse, Moss has some questions about this whole thing and he calls Renee. He is skeptical about Jack's guilt and he wants answers from Renee. Renee has a crisis of conscience and isn't sure whether or not to trust Moss. Finally, she relents and tells him everything. Wow, she knows Jack for less than 24 hours and she already trusts him more than Moss. Can't blame her.

- 10:42 - The bad guys decide to "settle up" with Carl, and Tony wants to let him go. However, Jack won't do that and he follows them. Tony tries to talk him out of it, but Jack puts on his silencer and shoots the guy anyway.

- 10:45 - The bad guys send someone to check on the downed guard. He sees the guy down and he calls it in. Why didn't Jack just shoot the guy with his silencer and buy some time? Who knows?

- 10:47 - Jack goes after the truck and he commandeers it. There are 9 hours left. Surely Starkwood must reacquire the weapon before too long, right?

- 10:49 - Tony gets captured. Will Jack go back and save him? Nope. He saves Redshirt Carl and he lets Tony go? What's wrong with this picture?

- 10:55 - Jack calls Moss and tells him that he's got the weapon. He notices a flashing light, and something tells me that it ain't low tire pressure. He notices a leak and gets momentarily exposed to whatever toxic agent is in the cannister (again with the cannisters?). However, he once again demonstrates his superhuman ability to hold his breath and fixes the leak. Sure enough he gets ambushed once he exits the boxcar and Starkwood recovers the weapon.

- 10:59 - Tony is alive and is being held captive. Meanwhile Jack tells Moss that he was exposed to the bio-agent, and Moss seems sad. Wow, Jack really seems to have that kind of an effect on people, doesn't he? You just can't help but love the guy. Just ask Senator Mayer. Oh wait a minute...

Next week: Jack gets naked! Woohoo!

Previously on "24"...

Bill took one for the team, and so did Juma. Jack wanted another go around with Burnette because he hadn't tortured anyone in a while and he was starting to forget how. President Taylor wanted to bring on her daughter as an adviser, and that didn't sit well with Warden Norton. Renee got fired, Jon Voight is evil, and Moss is a pansy. And Jack is on the run again, which makes this, like, the 10th time that he's been wanted by the federal government. Some things never change.

- 9:00 - Jack commits yet another GTA. What is that? Two or three so far? Luckily, he finds a Macbook, which means that he should be able to read his flash drive without fear of his computer crashing. Good thing it wasn't a Compaq.

- 9:02 - Morris wants to know where his wife is and Janis sends him to the conference room. She explains that Chloe has been arrested, and Morris is stupefied. Not sure why. She only gets arrested, like, every season. Meanwhile, Moss is upset that he's lost Jack. "It's on me," he says, which seems to be a familiar refrain for the FBI. Just like "Can we get you anything? Cup of coffee? A lawyer? Some comfy slippers?"

- 9:05 - Jack calls Renee and sends her the files. Good thing he happened to find that Macbook, huh? Renee seems unsure about whether or not to help him, but in the end, she can't resist Jack's roguish charm.

- 9:07 - Jon Voight goes into overacting mode as he vehemently tries to justify his heinous actions. Seems really out of place, what with the whole aristocratic and arrogant attitude that they've been trying to give him. Apparently, he doesn't like the fact that his assistant (who looks fatter than Ron Livingston, but it's a fairly close resemblance) seems to be having second thoughts about their operation. Not sure what's causing the sudden crisis of conscience for the assistant. Maybe he realized that his plan to steal those fractional cents from banks was weak.

- 9:08 - Apparently Quinn works for some kind of Blackwater-type place called "Starkwood." I wonder if they're related to Tony Stark from "Ironman." If that leads to a cameo by Robert Downey Jr., then all the better.

- 9:10 - Moss knows that Renee talked to Bauer. He can see it in her eyes. Just kidding, but he's clearly letting his jealously get the better of him. He wants Janis to access her phone records and log into her system. Apparently, Mr. By-the-Book doesn't have a problem with eavesdropping.

- 9:17 - Warden Norton comes in and Olivia gives him the stink-eye. Real mature, Olivia. He admits to his part in the Burnette fiasco, and the President is less than thrilled. I wonder if Olivia will use this to her advantage.

- 9:19 - Renee is about to leave, but Moss stops her. Renee sticks up for Jack and that only pisses Moss off even more. He puts her in holding as well. Renee, Chloe, Billy Walsh. How many holding cells do they have?

- 9:24 - Jack pays a visit to the Senator, and he's got a nice little townhouse. Looks like public life has been good to him. Jack's got a letter-opener in his hands, which is enough to scare the Senator. Hey, he tortured some guy with a towel in Season 1. Imagine the damage he could do with a letter-opener.

- 9:29 - President Taylor gives a statement. Meanwhile, some reporter hits Warden Norton with some knowledge and he immediately suspects Olivia. They have a heated confrontation, and Warden Norton is in some serious trouble. Hey, if he shoots himself, then I can use the line about how the last thing going through his mind, besides the bullet, was how the hell did Olivia get the better of him! Do it Ethan! Kill yourself!

- 9:33 - Janis says she can't crack the code and Moss decides to use Morris as leverage. He threatens to send Chloe to prison for 15 years unless Morris cooperates. Guess extortion is okay with Moss too. Morris, of course, folds like a house of cards, just like he did when Abu Fayed tortured him into building that detonator for the suitcase nukes. What a wimp! No wonder Chloe lusts after a real man like Jack.

- 9:35 - Of course, Morris decrypts the message in, like 5 seconds. Good to know that the FBI has the best and brightest working under its roof, like Janis.

- 9:40 - Chloe is upset at Morris, but Morris tells her that she's sacrificed enough for Jack. Hey, I would have done the same thing.

- 9:43 - The Senator tries to use cozy up to Jack, and tries to convince him of the error of his ways. Jack tells him that, of course he has regrets. He regrets losing his family. He regrets having to sacrifice innocent lives. He regrets that the world needs people like him. He didn't mention inflicting Season Six on us, but I'm sure that was next on his list.

- 9:45 - The Senator maintains that, despite his exhaustive, intensive, and comprehensive all-encompassing investigation into Starkwood, he's uncovered no evidence of wrongdoing by them. Of course, Jack figures out that Starkwood is evil in a few seconds as he discovers information about Starkwood's biochemical weapons program that was used in Sangala under the supervision of General Juma. Good to know that the Senator has wasted several years' worth of taxpayer money to accomplish big-fat-nothing.

- 9:47 - The Senator is convinced of Starkwood's evildoing and he is now Jack's friend. He vows to protect Jack and make things right. Wow, talk about a 180. Stockholm Syndrome much?

- 9:48 - The cops are at the door and the Senator goes to open the door with Jack's blessing. However, it's really Quinn and he kills the Senator. Aww... just as they were bonding. That's what peepholes were invented for, Senator.

- 9:53 - The President wants to hear what her daughter has to say, and she has an ace-in-the-hole. She produces the name of a producer who will swear that the leak came from someone else. I bet she was bluffing.

- 9:56 - Jack is bleeding, and Quinn follows the trail of blood. Quinn sees a house and notices that there's blood on a doorknob. He goes with his guns blazing, but naturally, Jack isn't in there. Instead, he's outside and he uses a bulldozer to level the house. They have a pretty good fight, and Jack shows his knife-throwing skills by stabbing him and then demonstrates his home-run power by whacking him with a 2x4. He can throw and he can hit! Maybe the Pirates should sign him! They've already signed those two cricket players. Why not take a flier on Jack?

- 9:57 - Quinn is dying, and he tells Jack that the weapons are already here. Jack then finds the address conveniently listed on Quinn's phone. How very helpful and thoughtful of him to have that address already on his screen.

- 9:58 - Moss is just getting to the Senator's house, and he changes the order to shoot-to-kill. Man, he really is angry about that whole Renee thing, isn't he? Meanwhile, Jack calls Tony and the two of them decide to resume their bromance.

Next week: Starkwood deploys their weapon ... an indestructible iron suit that allows its wearer to fly, experience superhuman strength, and deploy multiple forms of advanced weaponry. Moss won't torture anyone, but he decides that burglary is okay, as he loots the late Senator's swanky townhouse. Olivia discovers Warden Norton's money laundering scheme and exposes him to the press.

Previously on "24"...

Jack's torture spree came to an untimely end, right before Burnette was going to spill the beans about the whole conspiracy. As such, he ensured that the show will continue for another 11 hours or so. Juma and his soldiers made like the British in 1812 and invaded the White House. I don't know too much about the War of 1812 (other than the fact that it started in 1812), but I'm guessing the Redcoats didn't invade by drilling underneath the White House in less than a minute. The VP chickened out of attacking the White House and Juma slapped the President across the face. Oh, and we got a glimpse of Jon Voight, the aristocratic super-villain who enjoys fine wine and shooting darts while planning treasonous activities. He's like Hannibal Lecter only without the eating of human flesh (that we know of).

- 8:00 - Vice President Hayworth (who looks like Jose Mourinho) continues to refuse to allow the FBI to invade the White House. I guess President Taylor was smart to pick someone even more indecisive and weak than her. Kind of like how George H.W. Bush had "impeachment insurance" with Dan Quayle. I don't think anyone will be invoking the 25th Amendment this season.

- 8:02 - President Taylor and her daughter bond in this time of crisis. She forgives her, apparently, because nothing brings a parent and an estranged daughter together like getting captured and threatened by terrorists. Maybe Jon Voight should try this strategy with Angelina Jolie.

- 8:03 - Jack tells Bill about his plan to free the President. Apparently, there's a bunch of CH4 in the walls and a stray bullet will set set off a massive explosion that should take out all the soldiers standing along the perimeter. Jack volunteers for the mission, which means certain death, and the Senator demands to know what's going on. Man, he really wants Jack to show up to the hearing tomorrow, doesn't he?

- 8:05 - President Taylor agrees to read Juma's prepared statement over the internet, and she asks Juma to release one of the hostages as a show of good faith, and Juma surprisingly agrees. Of course his definition of "release" differs slightly from the President's. I guess that Sangalese-to-English dictionary needs some work. As such, some poor extra takes one between the eyes and is permanently released. Who didn't see that coming?

- 8:06 - President Taylor reads a statement about how terrible and unlawful the invasion was. Well, we already knew that.

- 8:07 - Holy Crap! Bill tells Jack that there's someone else involved and gets Jack to promise to follow it through. Bill then bum-rushes one of Juma's men and sets off the device! He takes the full brunt of the explosion, but it's enough to cause the FBI to proceed with it's extraction plan. He'll be back in a couple seasons, right?

- 8:10 - Jack saves the Senator and takes out one of Juma's men. Should have let him die, Jack. He then shoots Juma several times and that's all she wrote for the good General.

- 8:11 - Silent clock for Bill. I guess he won't be back after all. In a way, it makes sense that he would take the fall so that Jack would live. He knew that he wasn't cut out to go outside the rules like Jack, and he realized that the only way to stop this was to do things Jack's way. As such, it was more important for Jack to live because he'd actually be in a position to get results. Still, it's too bad. Bill was one of the rare good people on the show. And it's yet another person close to Jack that bites the bullet.

- 8:15 - President Taylor reassures her daughter that they're safe. Yeah right! There's still 11 episodes left.

- 8:18 - Renee sees the human side of Jack and she immediately sympathizes. You know, there's one way you can cheer him up, Renee...

- 8:20 - Jack wants another go with Burnette. Moss sees Renee softening towards Jack and he's not happy about it. He orders Jack arrested and, surely enough, Renee sticks up for him. That's going to stick in Moss' craw.

- 8:21 - Warden Norton enters the White House. Interesting how he was conveniently out of the White House when the attack happened, wasn't it?

- 8:23 - Jon Voight looks none too pleased that the President is still alive. Apparently, the shipment consists of weapons. Well, we knew it wasn't X-Boxes.

- 8:28 - Moss finds out that Renee went over his head and he looks none too pleased. Moss evidently believes that the best way to get information from Burnette is to say "pretty please."

- 8:30 - The President wants her daughter to join her administration, and Warden Norton is pissed. Apparently, the First Daughter leaked damaging information about President Daniels during the election. Like what? That he was doing the horizontal tango with that blond chick who was leaking information to evil Russian spies? That he tried to keep Wayne Palmer in his coma? That he cracked a smile when Palmer fainted during his press conference?

- 8:33 - Renee catches on to the One Fundamental Theorem of the show. "I think if we had listened to him then none of this would have happened." Glad someone is finally catching on.

- 8:35 - Moss tells Renee to clean out her office. Man, what a douche-bag. Or maybe he thinks that this is the best way to get into her pants. After all, there is a strict no-dating-coworkers rule, right?

- 8:42 - Jon Voight is planning multiple strikes around Washington D.C. He's not pleased about Burnette, but his trusty sidekick that kind of looks like Peter from "Office Space" has sent someone named "Quinn" to deal with it. "Quinn's good," Jon Voight says nonchalantly. "And I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday, mmm-kay? Oh, oh, and I almost forgot. Ahh, I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday, too."

- 8:44 - A shifty-looking guy starts creeping around the hospital and he smothers some poor guy who's recovering from heart surgery and has no next-of-kin. I'm betting that this is Quinn. Either that, or a serial killer.

- 8:47 - Aaron is okay and Olivia alludes to something bad that happened to Martha Logan. Aaron gets touchy, but is still gallant and chivalrous. I'm betting the former First Lady is probably living in a padded room somewhere.

- 8:49 - Olivia accuses Warden Norton of being asleep at the wheel, and she vows to get to the bottom of things. Of course, she announces her plan to him and gives him ample time to figure out how to counter it. Brilliant! I give her two more episodes before Jon Voight takes care of her.

- 8:53 - Jack goes into Burnette's room and it's game-time. Burnette royally freaks when he sees Jack. Can't blame the guy.

- 8:55 - Quinn cuts the audio and drops a cannister into the room. It's a bit smaller than the one that Bierko used, and it temporarily knocks out Jack. Quinn then cuts Burnette's throat with a piece of glass and then puts a piece of glass in Bauer's hand. Looks like they're trying to frame him, because that always works out in the end. Just ask President Logan.

- 8:58 - Peter the Sidekick tells Jon Voight what happened. "Now we're having some fun," Voight says with a smirk. Man, they're really trying to go over-the-top with him, aren't they?

- 8:59 - Police are on the scene and they establish a perimeter. You know what that means. Jack should slip through easily. I don't know why they bother anymore.

Coming up next week: Jon Voight asks his assistant for a TPS report over a meal of fresh liver and a nice Chianti.